night life

we hit the bar. another night to party all out. everybody's up for fun. drinking hard. laughing harder. getting high and tipsy. dancing down and dirty. the music's blaring. the disco lights, blinding.

we enter a trance of full bliss. like there's no stopping the ecstasy. we drink and dance the night. like everything's fine and fancy. until the beer is down to its last drop. until the heart-racing music stops. all wasted. all tipsy. the dance floor, left empty.

then silence dawns on you. a sudden glint of reality strikes you. the show is over. open your eyes. put off your always-alright-guise. there's no escaping now. you thought that beer could wash away the pain. that in a few more shots, it will all go down the drain. you wish the lights could actually blind you. so you could quit pretending not to see. you wish the music would blare more loudly. to beat the sound of inside cries roaring unbearably.

you thought you could run from the truth. that your disguise was good enough. you thought you could go on denying. the existence of a cold hard fact. you play deaf from the screams inside you. play numb of the bleeding wounds hurting you. dismissing anything that reminded you. reminded you that damn it, you've been forever blue!

you thought that the night would rob the misery of your days. you thought.
you thought wrong.


*allyne_sober

this is my december...

yah. that's a song from linkin park. nothing special. it's just been playing in my aching head since i woke up at 11 this morning and realized it's december first. nothing special about the date. nothing really special about today. just want to welcome the month with a bang! i mean.. with a blog! ^_^

this is my december...
hmm..whatever that means. ^^;

our anniversary! ^_^
happy 1st anniversary to us!!! wow. i can't believe how far we've gone. i've never been a keeper..tsktsk. but you've been real great. thank you for a wonderful year i had with you. for all the times that you've been there to listen... from my endless rants and raves about how life sucks to my optimist-bright-and-sunny days. my sincerest sentiments to the most nonsense things i say. my top-of-the-world to the end-of-the-world moments... and just about anything and everything about this dramaqueen! ^^; you've been there and i can't thank you enough...
i look forward to another year and another and another to share with you! I'm extremely sorry for all the times that i wasn't there. sorry for my shortcomings. i promise. i'll try hard to keep you... =p

happy anniv to my blog page!!! yey!!! hahahaha. this is a big accomplishment to have maintained a decent (?) blog page for a year now. i must commend my very inconsistent self for getting this far. wahaha.


i fell in love again...
it's an amazing human ability that after being hurt, crushed, stomped, and broken, to still have that courage to fall in love again. after just a moment of rising, we fall. again.

today i met him. and instantly fell for him. now i can't take him off my mind. my heart starts racing at the mere thought of him. my lungs gasp for air when i think of him. he has this magic over me... i don't know. but it's very unusual. very unnatural. to the point of being inhuman. oh well... you're not wholly human after all. it saddened me when twilight fell... that meant that i had to say goodbye to you. i wanted badly to see more of you. but the next pages were left blank. well.. i'll see you when new moon comes! i can't wait.