sometimes it's so damn hard to be strong. when people see you as someone who knows it all, someone who does it all, someone invincible! ...they tend not to care if you're okay. you can handle everything all by yourself anyway, why would they bother.
i grew up fighting my battles alone... or at least that's how it feels. the last thing i'd do when troubled, would be to wave the white flag or shout SOS! asking for help is the one thing i never learned. i'd rather burden myself than call a friend or tell the world i'm not alright. and so the birth of the martyr me.
i have this terminal disease of always pushing myself to the limit. it has spread all over my system, i can't fight it. i wanna do everything! know everything! wanna be always on the loop. i'm always on top of my game! this urge to be the best of what i can be is overwhelming that it doesn't permit even the slightest sign of vulnerability. of weakness.
but it isn't always fun. you're always the tough one. the one to run to when a friend needs someone. the good listener and the great adviser. the one who always saves the day. your friends need not say a word, and you're there to the rescue. everybody's crying shoulder. everybody's best friend. everybody's... except yourself. the strong facade blinds the people around you from seeing you as if you're invisible.
weakness needs support. but what people don't realize, strength needs more.
*allyne_ "i need someone who really sees me..." ='(
i grew up fighting my battles alone... or at least that's how it feels. the last thing i'd do when troubled, would be to wave the white flag or shout SOS! asking for help is the one thing i never learned. i'd rather burden myself than call a friend or tell the world i'm not alright. and so the birth of the martyr me.
i have this terminal disease of always pushing myself to the limit. it has spread all over my system, i can't fight it. i wanna do everything! know everything! wanna be always on the loop. i'm always on top of my game! this urge to be the best of what i can be is overwhelming that it doesn't permit even the slightest sign of vulnerability. of weakness.
but it isn't always fun. you're always the tough one. the one to run to when a friend needs someone. the good listener and the great adviser. the one who always saves the day. your friends need not say a word, and you're there to the rescue. everybody's crying shoulder. everybody's best friend. everybody's... except yourself. the strong facade blinds the people around you from seeing you as if you're invisible.
weakness needs support. but what people don't realize, strength needs more.
*allyne_ "i need someone who really sees me..." ='(
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