CONTROL Z.

oh come on!!! just when i thought i had everything going on oh soooo well, a sh*t from the past comes uninvited slapping me on the face real hard. reeaal hard!

my plans are... or were, all set. i had my mind focused on that one direction. that one direction! crap. now you're telling me to make a U turn?! i can't do that! hell, i don't wanna do that. but i guess what I want doesn't matter now, huh? i don't have a say, do i?

i am officially and helplessly a slave of my wrong decisions. wrong choices. wrong turns.

so this is why i'm singing shoulda, woulda, coulda in the shower this morning, goodness gracious! i should have settled this long before. so i wouldn't have to be in here, right now, drowning in my own pool of regrets. if only i could undo the damage and do it over again. oh how pathetic that one sounds!

if its any consolation, i would like to commend whoever said this line:
"make peace with your past, so it won't screw your future."

great. screw me.


allyne_ ...

half-life.

the meaning of existence can get confusing. oftentimes, elusive.

life sometimes seem to me as a constant battle between opposite forces. push and pull. up and down. high and low. you are either held captive by the stronger force, or dragged helplessly towards the other. the turn of events is just drastic that you're at the other end before you know it. one minute you're extremely happy as if in an infinite state of bliss. the next, it's otherwise.

the best place to be for me, is just somewhere in the middle. nobody ever set the boundaries between the two anyway, i might as well explore the many possibilities in between. this is just how i want my life. it's not falling into the abyss of mediocrity. just keeping balance so i don't fall. and if i do, i won't fall hard.

*allyne_gliding in between.

love triangles...

right or oblique.
i hope they love me back.