10 things i hate about you.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

yah. i know. this movie is sooooo a decade ago. but i just saw it again after i-don't-remember-how-long and still gave me the chills. heath ledger...hai... i miss you...
tsktsk.. may past? haha.

and hmm...i would like to dedicate this poem to someone...
tugsh! watdahel.

menu.

pagkatapos ng isang mahaba at nakakainip na laboratory class, nagmamadali kang lumabas ng PS C-101. hindi ka nagbreakfast kaya u-me-echo na sa buong physci ang sumisigaw mong tiyan. inayos mo ang gamit mo. hinubad ang oversized na labgown. sinilid sa bag ang kulay pink na lab manual. nagpaalam kay mam at kay classmate. gusto mu ng tumakbo sa sobrang gutom. konting lakad pa, naghihintay ang mga kaibigan mo para sa'yo. para sabay-sabay kayo.

pagkatapos ng mabagal na paglalakad sa c-park at mahabang debate kung san nyo trip kumain, nakita mo na lang ang sarili mong nakaupo sa isang kainan. first time mo 'tong mapuntahan. sa kabila ng gutom, nakuha mo pang makipag-chismisan. lumapit si kuya. nag-abot ng 8 by 11 na papel. naka-laminate. may litratong tila nananadyang ipaalala sayo'ng gutom ka. binasa mo. tiningnan ang presyo. binasa ulit. nagtanong ng "ano sa'yo?" binasa ng paulit-ulit. chumika. nagbasa. nagtanong. chumika at nagbasa. bago ka pa man makapili, nakalimutan mo ng gutom ka. pagtingin mo sa orasan, ala-una na. time na. wala na.

sometimes, the world lays down so many choices in front of us, we get overwhelmed. we know how much we want it. we've waited so long just to have it. we just don't know what it is. there's so many choices. all we have to do is pick one. but at times, we end up choosing none.


sabay-sabay dumating.
sabay-sabay ding nawala.
tsktsk.

*allyne_waiting for the next meal.

f(x) = negative self-esteem

Chapter 1: Fucktions, Operations on Fucktions and Inverses

• Let A and B be. Let them be. Wag na natin silang pakelaman.
• If R is the set of all real numbers, so what?
• A relation r from A to be is any subset A x B. A relation r can also be viewed as a set consisting of ordered pairs for its elements. Sila na may relasyon!
• The sum function of f + g is the function defined by (f + g) (x) = f (u) + c (k).
• The graph of a quadratic function described by an equation of the form y=ax2 + bx + c is a parabola. Anong kinalaman ko dun?!

i love math (read: sarcasm).
doctorate degree (read: pangarap).

what a stupid move to delay math 14. backstory: kina-cancel ko to lagi everytime binibigay ng systemone. lahat ng paraan para makaiwas kay x, kay y, at z na biglang nagtatransform into numbers sa dulo ng equation. na-traumatized yata ko ng matindi sa math11 i never want to encounter numbers again. but no. the university won't let me graduate without a semester-long date with mr. trigonometry. not just a date. oble is obliging me to meet the parents, mr. and mrs. functions. the siblings, mr. tangent, ms. sine and ms. cosine. his cousins, mr. secant and cosecant. even the maid and the houseboy, triangle and vector. and the whole fuck*ng family!!!

stupid move kasi 14 is a continuation of 11. and turning back the pages of allyne's academic history, it's been ages since i took 11! how the hell am i suppose to remember all the algebraic equations leithold was forcing down my throat? tsktsk. major major review. haha. pathetic me.

this morning was my first recit class. it was pretty easy. and sir uro is great. kung di lang xa umepal na i-check ko daw ang vertex ko. wahahaha. that -b over 2a drove me nuts! ok, i'm a li'l exaggerating. haha. pero dahil nga umepal xa, nadegrade ang pagkatao ko. ang self-esteem kong dati'y to the positive infinity and beyond biglang naging parabola opening downward. tsktsk. of course i listened to the great math 14 instructor... i checked and rechek and went over the 4ac - b2 over 4a formula until 10:59. at dahil negative na nga ang aking self-esteem, i didn't trust what i got. ergo, blangko ang item # 1 ko. muhahaha. di ako natahimik. maxadong natapakan ang pagkatao ko dun kaya i asked sa mga 14ners din. and the heck, tama pala ko. watdaf!

ok. eto na naman ako't over reacting. natatawa lang ako sa sarili ko. i don't know when to trust me and when not to trust me pag numbers na kaharap ko! baka ito na ang kryptonite that would strip my powers off of me! (wachathink, iyabear?)

oh well. it can't be that hard. wala pa namang namatay sa trigo.
bakit kc pinanganak akong math lover! wahehehe.
i can do this. i know it. *daanin sa attitude. ;D

*shoutout:
to all interested engineering students, tutor me. haha.
specifically electrical engineering. hahahaha.

subservient chicken.

if boredom's killing you like hell, check this out:
holy crap.

tsktsk. nakaka-ewan.
haha.



*credit: ms. bianca g.

Burn Blog! ^^;

milo: wow...what a long day...
menggoy: nanlalata ako..=(
mocha: antok na ko, melon pengeng kape.
melon: (laughs) walang mainit na tubeg.
milo: watdahel.
menggoy: what can i say, anung sabihin ko.
mocha: agenda na!
melon: anu bang agenda?
milo: hmmm... what a long day... muhahahaha. inulet?! wahaha.
menggoy: kayo magstart ng serious tone (apdcruz, 2008)
mocha: jusko my god.
melon: wala tong patutunguhan!
mocha: mag-anu nga tayo..break!
milo: wah! break na tayo??!
mocha: gagu!

-B-R-E-A-K-

milo: hai... i don't need you. get lost.
mocha: cge, break na nga tau. wahaha.
menggoy: you leave me with no choice.
melon: seryoso ba yan...waha.
milo: wahehe. i'm soo whatever.
mocha: nag-iba na ang tingin ko sa kanya. tsk.
melon: ang cute pala talaga ng heart ko.
menggoy: may naalala ko... don't be afraid of the possibility of losing someone.
milo: cnu kayang nagsabi non. tsk. yah... if that someone's true to your friendship, you wouldn't have to worry...
mocha: bakit kau nageenglish! pero tama ka jan milo.
melon: history seems to repeat itself ah! mag-move-on na tau...
milo: wahahahaha... melon?! move on?! c'mon!!!
menggoy: kaw nga di ka maka move on!
mocha: parang laging yan ang topic!
melon: nonsense.
milo: watdaf! patayin mu nga yang tugtog! ampf! oh well... we all have our own moving-on to do..tsktsk... ganyan talaga ang life sisses... people come. people go. haha. but me... you'll always have me! muahahahahaha.
menggoy: (umiiyak) naiiyak ako. badtrip eh. talaga? we'll always have you? eh 63 days na lang eh...
mocha: gagu! countdown na naman. wag ng magbilang...sulitin na lang ang araw...
melon: kelangan ba laging ipaalala?
mocha: si abi eh.
milo: tsktsk... "inevitable" eh. muhahaha (agripa, 2008)
menggoy: (umiiyak pa rin ampucha!) eh kasi emotional ako ngaun eh.. andami kong chepar.
disappointed ako. depressed. takot. tsaka ewan.
mocha: anu ba. (kamot saan?) wag mu na kc maxadong isipin. lalu ka lang nalulungkot.
melon: true.
mocha: un lang?
melon: w8 lang.... ahm. ano.. tama yun.
all: waahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
melon: kasi naman abi..wag ka ng mag-ano...yun.
menggoy: ansakit ng puso ko.
milo: hai naku... ang tino nyong kausap..hahaha... i know na. wag na natin pagusapan yang mga yan dahil muka namang sawa na taung lahat paulit-ulitin. tsktsk... dugtungan na lang tau...hahahaha. korni!! pero patulan nyu na..hahahaha.

-D-U-G-T-U-N-G-A-N-

Rules:

• 5 words at max. and at min. hahaha.
• anything goes. ^^;
  

milo: it was a saturday night...
mocha: dumaan ako sa may star.
menggoy: nakita kita, namutla. nanlamig ako.
melon: napatingin ako sa'yo. ngunit malayo
milo: ang tingin mo. pinilit kong
mocha: umiwas. pero di ko kaya.
menggoy: sabi ko sa sarili ko
melon: tama na. kelangan ng tuldukan
milo: ang ilang taon kong kabaliwan.
mocha: ilang hakbang na lang, malapit
menggoy: na. sumigaw ako.."Ding! ang..
melon: bobo mo! ilang beses ko
milo: na bang sinabi sa'yo? wag
mocha: kang bobo! bobo! bobo! talagang
menggoy: duling ka! nakatingin ako sa'yo!
melon: pero di mo ko nakikita!
milo: why do you have to be
mocha: so blind?! can't you see?
menggoy: sumagot ka! are you deaf?
melon: can't you feel me? huh?
milo: wala ka bang nararamdaman? ayoko
mocha: ng magbulag-bulagan. naduduling nako.
menggoy: nalilito. nahihilo. asan ba ko
melon: ngayon. alam mu ba? ano?!
milo: anong alam mo? wala kang
mocha: alam! kasi bobo ka! bobo!

ding: who you? pardon? come again.

-T-H-E--E-N-D-

early crammer.

whoah. talk about starting the sem right...
my first crammer night of this sem.
i'll be needing energy tomorrow to blow them away with my presentation.
kaya tutulugan ko na ang di pa tapos kong powerpoint.
this should be a no brainer thing, but to my surprise, naheherapan ata ako.
tsktsk. oh well, we'll see about that bukas.
for now, i'd call it a night.


*adik - wala talagang charger. muhahaha. sayang kanta mo. galing sanang pampatulog. =p
*kapatid - matulog ka. wag kang OA. 3mins lang.
twin sis - tama na multiply. mag-MDG ka na lang! haha.
*aleen - kamusta ka naman?!! easy.easy.

leading man.

...in 3,2,1.

you sit there.
as if the world is yours.
for a fleeting moment, i saw you smile.
that smile that knocked me off my feet the first time we met.

the lights were bright.
but that grin in your face is blinding.
i must admit.
i have never seen you happier.

scenes of what we once were came flashing.
i was half-awake.
the reel goes playing.

it wasn't the same you nor the same me.
the story turned to its sweetest twist.
the soundtrack has a cheery melody.
the actors all beaming.

and as i walk away from that smile.
that smile that got me on my feet the day our roads again meet.
the bittersweet memories of yesteryear fades in the background slowly.

you were once the leading man.
i was once the leading lady.
but our once-upon-a-time now lays in the pages of history.
the movie of you and me is history.

the lights were bright.
and that smile in your face is blinding.
i walk away with a grin.
i must admit.
i have never been happier.

...and cut.

2s0809.

the sem i'm supposed to be excited about turns out to be the sem i dread the most.

i'm extending 'til summer.
it took me a long time to really swallow this fact.
at sana hanggang summer nga lang noh. (fingers crossed)

i've had enough of remorse (dahil sa pagiging pasaway, that's another long story).
of indecision (to go to practicum or not to go to practicum).
of peer pressure (tsk... maxado ko kasi kaung mahal).
now my mind is all set. (i'm going my own way...)


the start of this sem was a roller coaster of emotions i'm not sure i'm prepared to ride.
talk about pressure... from all possible sources of pressure.
talk about fear... the future scares the hell out of me!
mix that with this sad feeling at the thought of parting from friends who became family over the years.

self-doubt is slowly devouring all sense of self-belief i have in me.
the supergirl is losing superpowers.
well, the show must go on...
as if i have a choice.

"i know i can do it, but it doesn't mean i'm prepared."
-Commander-in-Chief

ewan mode.

matagal na yata kong ewan mode.
ewan mode meaning you're not alright but you're not sad either.
you just go through your everyday routines ng... wala lang.
although yes, major major things in my life are happening right now,
they're actually crashing down on me so fast i can't keep up,
wala pa rin. ewan lang.

asar. i can't even think of a word to describe how i'm feeling.
the best i could come up with is... ewan.

i'll be alright...i should be.

ewan mode.

matagal na yata akong ewan mode.
ewan mode meaning you're not alright but you're not sad either.
you just go through your everyday routines ng wala lang.
although yes, major major things in my life are happening right now, they're actually crashing down on me so fast i can't keep up, wala pa rin. ewan lang.
tsk. asar. i can't even think of a word to describe how i'm feeling.
the best i could come up with is... ewan.

tsk. i'll be alright...i should be.

no wonder.

oh i see...
now i know.

tsktsk.

...makes me wonder

waaaaah...
why oh why...
how oh how...

??!!!?????!!!!


*allyne_clueless?!

groggy.

whoah.
my head is spinnin', so is my tummy.
heck, i've never felt this sick.
been trying to get some sleep since, kagabi?
hell, hanggang ngayon gising pa ko!!!
c'mon! 48 hours na...and counting.
i must be really ill.

november 1st

halloween hassle

i'm not a very november-1-person. i mean, i don't get the idea of spending the whole day on a memorial park under the scorching heat of the sun. it's a way of remembering our loved ones who have passed away i know. but hey, i can do that on any ordinary day! well its fun coz it becomes a little family reunion, but the hassssle is just haaaayyyy... excuse the ranting but it was just super crowded (of course) plus super init..hai.hai. talaga. haha. i went "grave hopping" kasi i was with my friend, dobol. eh mejo malayo ung sa kanila. so we had to go through this super duper sikip na line of people, it wasn't a line actually, more like a crowd na parang magkaka-stampede na. the usual november-one-scene. haha. whew! you can barely breathe. claustro attacks na naman. but instead of going highblood and all, we just goofed around na lang while on the line, making fun of how people walk kasi super siksikan. she said, muka daw clang penguins. haha. and for sure, kami din. tsk.tsk. ;)

halloween reunion/s
i'd take this as a consolation for the hassles of this occassion. you get to spend time with family members you haven't seen in ages...and hmm, those you will never see again... oh well, maybe that's the whole point. to gather everyone and have that certain feel, as if the whole family is there, kahit in spirit na lang. =(
so, it's not so bad after all.

and friends din! nakakatawa to stumble upon good old friends or mere acquaintances from way back your elementary days... exchange hellos, konting chikka sa gitna ng madaming pipol, goodbye, and good to see you. that simple pero i find it nice. the dramaqueen in me talking. ;D

*hi to KABALIKAT people. nice to see you po mga kuya.
you're so great talaga. dakila. saludo ko sa inyo! yeah.

halloween stars
this nov.1 was a little special, may fireworks! soxal. i don't know whose palabas is that. baka drama of a family saying goodbye to a loved one... it's really nice. ;) and the timing that it took off was just perfect. kakadating lang namin sa "place" nila dobol,na mejo higher ung location overlooking the lower part of the mem.park. mataas tas sa may open area. of course it's gabi na with the clear sky and the stars above you. i was texting with a friend (?, ;p) na forever namin pinaguusapan ay falling stars...haha. he asks, "what na gngawa mu jan?" and i was like, "nag-hihintay ng falling star." he replied, "ganda ng langit. sana makakita ka." sabay tunog na warning tone ng fone ko meaning dead bat. na. and boom. nagputukan. fireworks pala. haha. i couldn't contain my happiness, maiyak-iyak ako. tsk.tsk. it was like all the stars in the sky falling para sakin..haha. emote na emote ang lola. i'm crazy about fireworks, about falling stars, kay mr. moon, kaya mega OA na naman reaction ko. harhar.

*hi ate...;) wish.wish.wish.

sweet november
and to end the day, i had a little chit-chat with the man of my life. we haven't done this in quite a long time, andami ko nang kwento sa kanya! it was a short talk. for about half an hour, just the two of us. for a moment, i forgot the rest of the world. serene. silent. his eyes looking straight at me. his voice echoing. his embrace taking all over me. we had a few laughs. i told him how i've been. how i missed him. what i have become. it didn't take a while, i started crying. and the pain i felt when i lost him seven years ago came in rushing. few moments passed. serene. silent. then we said our goodnights.

*i miss you 'tay...